Reflections on Mentor Meeting with Dominic Shepherd
The tangible reality of the studio and current circumstances.
The immediate pressure is undeniable. Being made redundant just four days after surgery in January has stripped away the safety net; I am now relying entirely on painting sales. This creates a friction between the MA requirements (Unit 1) which demand "experimentation," and the very real need to produce ten resolved, sellable pieces for the gallery deadline in mid-February.
I have been worrying that these two aims are mutually exclusive—that to experiment is to risk saleability. However, Dominic pushed back on this. The consensus is that I do not need to separate the "experimental" work from the "sellable" work. A resolved painting is a resolved painting. If I trust my skill, the outcome will arrive. The focus must be on the ten pieces, but approached through my authentic process, not a forced "finished" aesthetic.
Connecting practice to memory, psychology, and broader narratives.
We identified a core psychological driver in my work: a "Shape Bank." Dominic described my visual processing as a form of "Visual Tourette’s"—an impulsive, almost involuntary release of observations. I am not just painting views; I am making sense of existence through pattern and structure.
This connects deeply to my history as a "Map Maker", observer. I have always been fascinated by the edges of things—memorising the British coastline, mapping rivers and rock pools. I understand the container (the negative space, the coastline) far better than the contents.
Crucially, I identified that my obsession with botanical forms and negative space acts as "stimming." It is a self-soothing mechanism, a way to anchor myself during times of trauma or overwhelm. This transforms the work from simple representation into a necessary act of psychological survival. The layering isn't just technique; it is the physical manifestation of my need to order the world.
Synthesising the path forward.
The central realisation is about "Handwriting." I have been fighting my natural urge to layer, feeling it was perhaps "wrong" or "messy" compared to the crisp boldness of my collages. Dominic argued that layering is my handwriting. To try and paint without it—to try and "copy" the energy of a collage into a flat painting—is like wearing a costume. It feels inauthentic.
The energy I seek comes from the act of making. I cannot plan the painting perfectly; I have to "chew the painting 16 times." The cutting, moving, and layering of "rejects" and parts must happen on the canvas.
The Proposition:
I will stop resisting the layer. I will use the creating an chewing —cutting up and physically moving elements on the canvas—to break the rectangle and explore where the edges are. The goal is to let the "Shape Bank" spill out onto the canvas instinctively. I have until April for the unit, but mid-February for the gallery. The strategy is to let the "stimming" process of defining negative space drive the creation of these ten works. Trust the handwriting.
We discussed the development of clay based gesso and I am excited to experiment with this as an editing tool.
